Feel Me

The Places We Never Went I see you in the places we never went, in cabins we never lived in, in rivers that never knew our names You exist in all the things we almost had Somewhere, there is a cabin with a barn, the one you showed me, where chickens should be pecking at the dirt, where the river should be cold against your hands in the morning, where breakfast should be waiting when you come back inside but no one lives there No one fishes in that river. No one wakes up in that bed tangled in warmth, because I never chose that life with you Somewhere, there is a song playing on an old radio, Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac, but no one is dancing to it in the living room, bare feet against wooden floors, no one is laughing when the record skips. There is no wedding, no slow dance, just a song stuck in time, like us. I still reach for my phone, still scroll past cabins for sale in Montana, still pause at every mention of your favorite movie, as if I’ll find you there, as if you’ll turn aroun...

Wherever you go if you leave, take me with you- fold me into your pocket, let me live in the warmth of your palm i don’t need much, just the sound of your breath, the weight of your steps, the way you speak like the stars  are something you can reach  i would be quiet, i would not ask for more- only to exist where you exist, to belong to the space between your heartbeat and the wind so take me wherever you go, let me stay, let me stay.

Starving   love is craving, It is teeth sinking into flesh, red bloom it is hunger that never quiets you don’t understand— i don’t want to hold you, i want to split you open, taste your trembling, lick the salt from your ribs and make a home inside your chest. if love is gentle, then i do not love i want you raw, want you broken, want your breath hitching under my palms as i carve my name into your bones want you scream my name as i suck you dry

TRAPPED IN YOU You sweetened me, sank into my soul, read me like a prophecy I hate this. I hate you. I was there— when you said you needed me, when my world was burning, I made time, carved it from my own bones, and handed it to you like an offering. You swore you'd always be here. No matter what. No matter what the fuck. But here I am, talking to ghosts, watching you spoil the only thing you ever truly loved— your own damn ego. You spoke of effort, as if effort is a word you understand, as if the weight of my waiting isn’t breaking my spine. You wondered if you were enough. Yes, sir. Yes. You are not. I am not too much— you are too little. You ranted, and I listened. I held my tongue, swallowed my needs. You never did the same. You were mean—sharp-edged, careless. I hope your fingers burn, a slow, cruel sting if you ever type other name while ignoring mine. And I hope you tell me, whine to me about the pain, so I can say, good. Was that love? Or just comfort? Did I mistake patienc...

Spend an hour... two hour... later....  Never bored to each other  you got topic i got another  each minute full of funny pict   You happy, it's christmast day  Glad to you, not me, it's not my day  you tell everything that you got randomly wanna be a grinch who stole my heart   Far away, no excuse told me your dream  "i want to make circus"  Diana, you came with the name nervous... sweat around...    "your girlfriend?" nervous... sweet around.. . " "no, my anagram name"  "oh by the way, i still serious about come to your house as a Grinch"   I don't know what to say ... your jokes make me hang in the sky